We just recently celebrated Father’s Day. How was that for you? If you are a father, did you feel honored? Is your father still in your life? Was your relationship with your father a relationship that blessed your life?
In today’s world, Fathers are not always present. Divorce has often torn them away from us and they start a new family somewhere else. Time and distance can leave space between the relationships. There is loss, remorse and brokenness.
When you watch the depictions of fathers on TV today, we can often see them painted as knuckleheads. Men are bashed and made to look like dummies. Women run the household and men are mocked. This is a shift in the God-designed household of patriarchal headship. What we are seeing when women rule is matriarchal headship. This is not the original design.
Sometimes women have no choice but to be in charge in situations like a widow or a divorcee. But God created men to be the “head” of the household and women to be the “heart”. When the “headship” is reversed, it brings in a spirit of confusion. We can witness this through the diseases of our time. Fathers hold the blessing for their children. This blessing can be the difference in becoming a successful, confident and whole human being or not. The blessing is as simple as, “Daughter or son, go and be all you were created to be.” It is telling your son or daughter how much you love them. It is complimenting them and encouraging them in their gifts. Tell them the good things you see in them and call them forth. This is the power of the father – to make confident and blessed human beings that know they are loved.
In the Old Testament, this was a powerful thing. There was a special blessing reserved for the first born. So powerful and affirming was this blessing that Jacob pretended to be his older brother Esau in order to get his father’s blessing by trickery. The blessing that came forth was this:
“Ah, the smell of my son
is like the smell of a field
that the LORD has blessed.
May God give you heaven’s dew
and earth’s richness—
an abundance of grain and new wine.
May nations serve you
and peoples bow down to you.
Be lord over your brothers,
and may the sons of your mother bow down to you.
May those who curse you be cursed
and those who bless you be blessed.”
This may sound a little foreign to us in this day and age, but basically he was blessing him with prosperity, admiration and good favor. Wouldn’t we love to hear that from our fathers? How much more confidence would we leave the nest walking in, if we had heard our dads’ speaking affirmations to us as we grew up.
Parents aren’t perfect. And you may find it hard to honor your father if you see any of his sin. But I always told my children that there was only one of the Ten Commandments that came with a promise and it was:
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12
It’s never too late to start honoring. And the good news for those whose father is absent in their lives or deceased, is that God the Father can give you the blessing. Just ask Him.